dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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