Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
