morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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