i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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