I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
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