margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
