even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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