Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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