I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
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