Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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