I just pynch a tree in the face
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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