Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
just found out that she named her cat after me.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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