thus making me awesome and them whores
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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