shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen