Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
