hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i think i have herpe
just one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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