enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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