Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize