If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
