just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
