We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
