Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Drake has all the answers
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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