Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
