We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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