It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
