One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
