none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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