god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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