How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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