what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
