Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.