i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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