What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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