dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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