Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize