This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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