Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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