spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
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