Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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