I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
