Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
