apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize