hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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