that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
