I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize