omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
