I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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