so let's talk penis.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
