sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
