Say something about gay babies.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
