Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Randomize
