Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
