Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
