farters have to be the big spoon...
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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