Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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