I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize