I hate all girls vehemently.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
