Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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