You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
